1. “So when do you plan to get married?”
You: I don’t know….maybe when I find the right guy. Duh!
2. “You do want to get married eventually, right?”.
No, I wish to live alone and eventually get devoured by my 69 cats!
3. “Your clock is ticking.”
Really? Because it seems you’re the one getting older day after day after day. So, tick tock goes the death clock!
4. “How do you feel about hitting 30 soon?”.
Does being in your twenties mean you’re not 30 yet? Funny thing, I never knew. Thanks for that insightful information. I’ll l get back to you when I do hit that phase.
5. “OMG! How come you’re not married yet? You’re so amazing!”
Wow! That’s an amazing question!
7. “Have you gained weight?”
TAKE.THAT.BACK. RIGHT NOW!
8. “You know, the right person will come around when you least expect it. You will be surprised how that happens!
You know I don’t like surprise, especially not the bad ones.
9. “Aren’t you worried you won’t be able to have kids if you wait for too long?
Yeah, I know right. I’m 23 and my ovaries are shrinking! Pffft.
10. “My friend knows an NRI MBA boy and she thinks he’s perfect for you.”
NRI?. More like Non-reliable Indian! Um, no thanks.
11. “I remember when I was your age I did this and that and blah blah blah.”
The things I could do to you. *insert angry face here*
12. “Career? Girls don’t have careers. It’s just a way to get them busy till they get married, then it’s family and kids for life.”
WHAT. DID. YOU. JUST. SAY. TO. ME?
13. “How does it feel to see your friends getting married while you’re still single?!”
I don’t know, I have a question though: How does it feel getting smacked right on to your freaking face?
14. “You really need to start to learn how to cook before marriage if you want to survive in your sasural!”
(Cough! Cough!) Not as easy as it seems.
15. “So you’ve joined the gym, Getting in shape for marriage proposals, eh?”
Yeah! that’s what gyms are for to grab up those good marriage proposals! There’s something called personal fitness! Aargh!
16. “Have you tried [INSERT NAME OF RANDOM MATRIMONIAL SITE]?”
Why don’t you leave me alone! GOD!
17. “I can’t wait to dance at your wedding!”
No, please. Don’t. I still can’t forget those horrific dance moves you did last wedding.
18. “When you’re a constant victim of aunties nudging you at weddings saying, “You’re next!”
Seriously. KILL ME NOW!
19. “You’re gonna die alone, you know that!”
Thank you for those motivational words.
20. “Why are you doing this with your life?”
Translation: Because I love screwing up my life! Its so super cool!
21. “So, when are you getting married?”
And we’re back to square on. Aaaarggh!